Is it possible to recover after breaking up?

2022-05-10 0 By

Mu Yan with personal experience, actual combat experience: there is no love that can not be redeemed, only you are willing to (do not want to redeem need not see) and hundreds of consulting cases tell you: “possible!!”Because saving this matter is never a “can” or “can’t” problem, but a probability problem, whether the probability of saving is 99 percent, or 0.1 percent, is “can save!”There are also a lot of emotional counseling teachers said: “as long as the other side is still alive, we have the possibility of saving the other side!!”Mu Yan agrees with this statement, there is no irreparable love, only you are willing to work hard for it!!However, Mu Yan never give you students “painting cake”, to ensure that you will be 100 percent success, because recovery is a probability problem, feelings are fluid and variable, not a pool of stagnant water.So, in many cases, the probability of success is not worth discussing at all.The most important thing we need to do is to analyze the decisive factors affecting the outcome of recovery, so as to master how to increase the probability of success recovery operations!!Answer to a riddle often hides on answer to a riddle, about redeem, the most important is redeem ourselves namely, ability redeem predecessor truly!Otherwise, begging back is pity, not love!!Yin Tiger year of ren first update, late at night.Mu Yan original 544 articles, suggested collection reading, always alert yourself!!Article is very dry goods, the text is very tied to the heart, carefully read!!First, how to find the reason for breaking up?Mu Yan through hundreds of cases of breaking up, making divorce, summed up about “why will break up?There are two immutable truths: 1. Loss of sense of value: We lose our sense of value because of various low-value behaviors in our daily life, and we no longer have strong attraction.In the past, our partners tolerated our tantrums, which are supported by a strong sense of value and attraction.But now, because we are less valuable and attractive, our partners are becoming impatient in the relationship and even breaking up.The bottom line is that people with a low sense of value are not worthy of investment and love.And no one really likes things that have a low sense of value.2, loss of happiness: Partners in relationships, because of our various negative performance and behavior, or some current problems we have no way to solve, slowly see the nature of the relationship.These subjective and objective factors can lead a partner to be pessimistic about the future direction of the relationship, to believe that there is no chance of happiness in the relationship, etc.Then will produce disappointed, desperate mood, slowly feel tired heart, also put forward to break up.Some students will say, how could this happen?The essence is simple: for example, you are not motivated at all;Emotional instability;You have no ability to solve the problem without the support of both parents;Long distance relationships, you don’t have a good solution, your partner doesn’t have a solution, etc.These are the kinds of issues that can lead to a loss of happiness, and when you don’t think there’s a problem in the relationship, often your partner will.Because everyone has different levels of sensitivity to emotional issues. For example, after a big fight, some people will collapse alone until 5 am, late at night.Some people choose to sleep through the night and figure out how to solve the problem the next day.When a lot of students go through a breakup, they always think that they did something wrong in the relationship, or that they didn’t do something right.In fact, in essence, it is because in the process of getting along with you, your partner has seen clearly the essence of you and the essence of your relationship from every little thing, and finally feel that the two people are not suitable.No matter which 1 of these 2 problems appear, when you are unable to solve or helpless, because of the human nature of the “seeking benefits and avoiding harm” thinking, escape is the best solution.So, the partner breaks up because neither of you can solve the problem and it’s in their best interest to break up!Two, what is the optimal thinking of recovery?For most students who are struggling with emotional problems, the biggest obstacle to solving problems is the self-imposed limitations, often referred to as “self-limitations!”In fact, “self-limiting” is a matter of mentality and perspective.Every time I met such a visit to consult the object, but also quite helpless one thing, repeatedly emphasized the answer to the question, often they will be regarded as a deaf ear, and then come to you for proof.For example: “He’s seeing someone new. Can I get him back?””I stepped on thunder, can you redeem?””Can we make it back?” “Can we make it back?”.Or, “Teacher, is there a chance we can get back together?””Teacher, what is our success rate of recovery?”.I’ve seen a lot of similar problems.Things like, “Is it still possible with him?””Should I give up?””Can I make it right?”.Now a quick search, any questions you asked?Or a question you want to ask?Feelings of sadness, sadness, and inconfidence are understandable and natural after a breakup.However, these questions are not helpful except to show that you are not confident in the relationship.And if you’re not confident about the future of your relationship, how can your partner be confident about returning to you?I have told you countless times: “there is no irreparable love, only you are willing to work for it!”But, you just don’t go hard, but lie at home crying tears waiting for the death of love sentencing.Since you desire success and change, don’t keep yourself trapped in painful limitations.You’re constantly giving yourself insinuations of failure, but you’re never really trying. You’re often shirking responsibility, or you don’t want to change.What does that mentality look like?”I wanted to be rich, but I refused to work and move forward because I was so afraid of failure or failure in my operation.So I asked others how to make money, and after they told me the general method, I thought I’d better look again.Observation for a period of time, the heart is unwilling, I had to go to another person for advice, get the general method, then observe.”This is a cycle, how can it lead to a benign outcome?Self-perpetuating pressure, setting limits, and demoralizing yourself.Even if you have the possibility of success, you will reduce the probability of success through indecision and self-limitation!In fact, this is part of human nature, essentially: anticipating the outcome of your failure and being lazy in the process reduces the frustration of failure when it comes.There are two common forms of expression: 1, do things to delay time, hesitant, look ahead and look behind, looking for excuses to shirk responsibility;2. Repeatedly tell yourself that you can’t, or repeatedly emphasize or state the conclusion.There are a large part of the mouth Shouting “true love”, “I want to save”, but never their own efforts, unwilling to study hard, full of thinking about their own situation is how bad, how indifferent their predecessors…….We are only consultants, not sorcerers, can not reach the spell to make you compound success, no executive power to recover are on paper.Some students would lash out at the consultant again: “Teacher, I really can’t change, for example, I’m not handsome, I don’t have money, I don’t understand the other side’s ideas, I can’t talk and so on.” “The other side is very unfeeling, I can’t change the other side.”It seems very reasonable, because of the perspective, I also accept these objective factors you said, but is this another “self-limiting?”Instead of giving full play to one’s own strengths, the so-called “play to one’s strengths and circumvent one’s weaknesses” and insist on holding on to one’s weak spots.Have not begun to operate, and found a big wave of problems to deny themselves, who can help you?In other words, you feel like you can’t do this, you can’t do that, so what’s the point?Why should anyone else acknowledge you when you have denied yourself from the bottom of your heart?The leader gives you a job, you deny yourself, saying that you are not good at it, the leader will deliberately encourage you?There is a high probability that the job will be given to someone else, and you should not complain that the leader did not discover your talent at that time, because it is you who buried it.Whether it’s emotional problems, daily life, or even work, many obstacles are self-imposed.Originally only one meter high wall, we may easily past, not to their own bricks to the wall, the base is very high, and then tell others: “You see, I said I can not, will fail, completely can not get through.”Feelings are always in the flow of change, with the change and passage of time, with our efforts, there is no problem that cannot be solved.As long as you don’t make the problem any more difficult.Most of the time, the biggest obstacle to solving a problem is not how to do it, but how to get out of the “self-limiting” mindset.Adhere to the optimal way of thinking, do not repeat the failure of the behavior pattern, and failure of the thinking limits.Finally, save the frame and train of thought, including skills, can refer to mu Word past period article!!Breakups are not the same for everyone, and they need to be analyzed on a case-by-case basis.Mu Yan just gives some suggestions for breaking up in this big category. I hope you can learn some ability to deal with emotional problems through my article, but you can’t copy it mechanically.If you are experiencing emotional problems and are not sure what to do, you can add a personal self. I offer you the most efficient solution.I am Mu Yan, a man with high purity. I have been waiting for you. Let’s fight against your current emotional dilemma together.Open wisdom to preach